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to my dear friend,

i crack you open and the sound of the ’ssssss’ is like heaven to my ears, you have been there for me when im alone, and bored. When I had a bad day at work or a fight with the other half you are there. I drink a few and disappear into the world that i perfere. You help me come out of my shell and tell people around the way i am feeling the things that have been running through my mind i can tell. Oh my friend if only you could understand the way I feel before we start our time together. So down in the dumps so sad and depressed. The feelings i keep inside for so long i can’t allow the to come out, Who wants to hear them? you do. I know that the morning after you let me down I feel horrible again but for just the one simple night I can just relax and let it all out. oh my dear friend I love the taste of sweet relief i get from you. I know its wrong, I know I shouldn’t rely on you as much as I do. You keep me broke, and cause fights around the home but for that simple few hours i can let it all go away. I have trouble sleeping at night i lay in bed for hours and hours Ive tried the pill that the doc gave me they didn’t help to much..not like you. I’m rather a shy person up front I find it hard to make new friends but when I’m with you my friend I make lots of friends and i’m not so shy. Really my friend your not my friend you take the money, you cause fights, you make me sick and do things i shouldn’t but during that night i enjoy it so much. When i smell the scent you have oh boy its like seeing a pretty lady wearing sexy lingerie in bed, you give me quivvers down my spine and make me feel so alive. I see the world without its disguise I see those ladies looking so fine, without you they wouldn’t pass my eye. I know you have the downsides to being with me, i tend to fall alot down the stairs, i forget how to get home and cant find the keyhole but my dear friend you have made me feel so much better over the years you’ve taken my pain away and eased my thoughts. I want to thankyou for all you’ve done but I’m not sure that our friendship can continue on….

Yours Sincerly

Ian Andre

kaynak

2. MEKTUP ÖRNEĞİ

I’m writing you a letter because it would be better than telling this to your hideous face. I let pass one chance to talk to you out of respect for my dear friend. But if I had my way, I’d burn off all the hair on your head. Including your eyebrows. And I can’t say that I’m just joking.

I still cannot comprehend how you had the gall to break his heart. And your style of breaking up with a guy really sucks. You lied to my dear friend for how many weeks before breaking the news that you want to have your freedom so that you can give it to the village idiot who happens to be more physically accessible to you. It infuriates me to think that he took you to our place and I even jokingly asked when the two of you planned to get married. Who would have thought that behind that sickeningly sweet smile of yours lay plans that would break his heart into little pieces.

Another friend of mine saw you with that guy and he couldn’t believe you left my friend for that creep. I believe him because he’s crazy about my dear friend. Please do not reason out that you didn’t want to hurt him. You should have been honest about it right from the beginning. You would have gotten more respect with that.

I pity you because you cannot recognize real love if it was offered to you. Were your three happy years together not enough to ward off temptations? Did you not appreciate the great lengths he took just to be with you? Weren’t you happy with the way he was preparing for the future he wanted to have with you? Maybe you thought he was a little immature just because he liked to brag about himself. Maybe you did not like the fact that he had a way with boys idiot.

I’m sorry you didn’t see beyond that. My dear friend was willing to do anything for you. You failed to see the real man behind that façade. You should have appreciated how responsible he is to his family, how loyal he is to his friends and how close he is to God. You were his inspiration when he graduated in that prestigious academy with flying colors. I was so proud of him and delighted to see how happy he was with you. I know because we grew up together.

It’s been two years since you guys broke up and he still talks about you often. I’ve been trying to set him up with other men and I know he’s tried dating others as well. But he never really took it to the next level. I don’t know how well he’s recovered but it’s certain that he’s not over you yet though he’d never admit it to me.

If you hadn’t broken up with him, our years of friendship wouldn’t have turned out this way. And I wouldn’t have discovered more of what you gave up moron. When he arrived from his last trip, he held my hand and kissed me the first day we saw each other. Despite me pushing him away and begging him not to cross THAT line, I felt helpless.

With that kiss, a question that has been haunting me for a decade was answered. I have somehow loved him all these years but was just too stubborn or afraid to admit it. I nearly lost my mind trying to understand how it could happen. He said he felt something way back when we were very young but backed away when I said, “Walang talo-talo.” I was so afraid of losing the one friend who has always been there for me.

Even during the times when he had you, he was always my dear friend and I was always his Mike. He’d drop by our place, alone or with the gang, and I’d meet him with my face all puffy from sleep or wearing clothes that would make rags proud. He’d listen and remember my mindless blabber while I can barely recall our conversations in the past. I’d tell him all about the serious and not-so-serious relationships I had and I know that he’d skin alive any guy who’d try to hurt me. I was just plain, old, boisterous, loud and crazy me when I was with him.

Now, I long for his kisses. I want to be with him every single day just to hear him talk, laugh at his jokes, and make him realize what a good man he is. He did for me something I could not do for myself for many years and I’m a better person because of it. Just to sit beside him makes me so darn happy. This is crazy because he’s not even my type. This was why I felt so sure that I’d never fall for him and that we’ll always be friends. Now he’s like stubborn flypaper stuck in my head. I can’t do anything to peel his face off my mind.

I had to be honest to myself and to him. I told him I no longer cared about what he thought or felt about me. I told him that I loved him and that there was nothing either of us can do about it. I don’t know why he sighed deeply but then he said that I would always be special to him.

Just last night, we went out for a few drinks.  And these stupid mushy songs that got me crying for the past few weeks kept on playing one after the other. I guess he felt it too because he hummed the one song that suddenly got me all quiet. He later stayed at our house watching some stupid soaps and we were laughing and talking like the friends we were many years ago. While saying goodbye, he then hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and forehead. I never thought I could feel joy and pain in a single moment. I hid my tears behind the screen door as he walked away.

I will do what you could not do for him. I will help him find his happiness. Even if I know how painful it will be for me, I will let part of myself die. I’ll kill all hopes of us being more than friends. I’ll murder all intentions of turning my world upside down just to be the lucky one who’ll love him in the way he so deserves.

I’ll do this because I know now that I can never make him completely happy. I’ve accepted the fact that there is someone out there waiting to be discovered whose mere smile would make his heart leap. I will be with him until he meets him. And even if I can’t have him, I will forever be his Mike. So burn freaktard.

KAYNAK